THE BOONHILL BOOKS

 

A series of novels all set in the fictional village of Boonhill. If you're a fan of: The Vicar Of Dibley's parish charms, Morrissey's deadpan drollery, or Sue Townsend's lovingly portrayed depictions of Midlands mundanity, then look no further - your next bingeworthy reads are here! They appear below chronologically, but can be read in any order.  

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The Livingston Theory

The fictional village of Boonhill is the setting for this post modern farcical romp. Local author, Livingston Sidebottom-Staines, donates a copy of his novel, Good Book Keeping, to Boonhill Library. The book is an overwritten, pretentious stream of consciousness, that quite rightly remains on the shelf for months, despite his nephew’s efforts to get it noticed.

    Until Reeny Clutterbuck, a pensioner with post retirement OCD, chances upon the book and embarks on a quest to find the eponymous Livingston.  Meanwhile the book passes from villager to villager and we follow its journey into their homes and lives.

    The colourful cast includes: frustrated poet, Troy Watchorn, nephew to Head Librarian, Heather Stocks; Doctor Hazel Moncur, who was forced to move to Boonhill to escape a sex scandal; Walter Greengage, Heather’s literary soul-mate, husband of knit-aholic wife, Pastor Godrell Salt, long-suffering director of the local am-dram society; and pub landlady, Mandy Knight.

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Trying Times At Ritalin High

 

Jaded Ian Mosley is dispatched to Samson Little School by OFSTED in a move to develop school inspector relations. Here he meets Sophie, an English teacher who might have walked straight out of one of those ‘every lesson shapes a life’ TV ads, he is forced to re-evaluate.

During his two week visit, Ian is witness to some truly outstanding teaching as well as some truly outrageous conduct: he uncovers a Ritalin ring (and comes to accept that in an eight week term this may be the only way to avoid burn-out); caddies in a carpet golf tournament; falls prey to a laxative spiked batch of cupcakes; and even enjoys the odd pint of Pitbull down the Dogs Dinner with Mark (Sophie’s inept and antediluvian boss).

Samson Little’s master plan is ‘Big Wednesday’ an event designed to boost moral and unite the local community – but when disaster strikes with the local press in attendance, will Ian be forced to recommend the dreaded Academisation of the clearly failing school?

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Dead, Right?

Charley wants a baby brother. Charley gets a dead mother. Charley wants a new home. The foul-mouthed ghost of her dead mother has other ideas.

With her dad in jail, Charley’s future is in the hands of the care system; she must get that anger of hers under control if she is ever going to be considered for adoption.

Can Charley keep her demons at bay and reintegrate into normal life? Will she defeat the cyber bullies who brand her anorexic? Will she ever get over what she witnessed back when she was just ten on that fateful August morning in the house on Shooter Street?

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Post Midnight Blues

She’s a neurotic non-binary seeking forgiveness; he’s a heartbroken hound desperately seeking his master: together they are… dysfunctional.

Con is living in self-imposed isolation after an accidental death that she blames herself for. Her only contact with the outside world is the occasional midnight trip to the local supermarket and her visits from loyal colleague, Sandeep. Deadpan companion, Heathcliffe the Lurcher, has his own issues: most notably an inexplicable fixation with post boxes.

Can these two social misfits find a way to readjust and make peace with the past?

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The Boonhill Baptist

WARNING: SACRILEGIOUS CONTENT. The Baptist of Boonhill is a fictional memoir exposing the very real corruption of the church.

Over several decades, sleepy little Boonhill is primed for development and falls prey to retail outlets, new roads and media corruption. Likewise, the once tiny church congregation explodes and is exploited by the nefarious titular Baptist.

From her conception, Miriam Stokes’ life is dictated by Father John. His plots and schemes become increasingly scandalous by the chapter. But when her mother dies, she learns the truth and is determined to reveal all. A battle of wits ensues.

The Others

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Small Change

Destiny and Justin are from opposite sides of the tracks: she self-identifies as a ‘chav’, while he’s a gonzo journalist, all about self-enlightenment.  The pair meet at a house party and hit it off, despite the disapproval of her best friend, Vegas.

For their third date he takes her on a film making expedition into the heart of London during the riots of Summer 2011. Justin is killed in absurdly horrific circumstances, leaving Destiny to examine her future choices. Has meeting Justin made that all important small change necessary for her to realise her true potential?

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In Whose Name?

Hana and Afsana: both held captive, both survivors, both visionaries. In Whose Name interweaves their stories, finally bringing them together to fight against male oppression.

Hana is the leader of W.A.R. (Womankind Awareness Retreat) – a mountain-top getaway for couples in search of ‘gendharmony’. Upon arrival the couples are separated: the ‘men’ are tested psychologically, physically and emotionally through a series of role reversals. While the ‘wives’ are given a chance to indulge themselves and forge bonds. Learning all about feminist icons, they discover, through a video diary, that Hana is quite the hero herself. But is there a more sinister motive behind her vision for gender equality?